This is something altogether new for me, actually two new things, writing a blog post in response to the daily prompt and writing when I am relatively happy. See there! I had to qualify happy because claiming I am happy would be unlike me, the eternal optimistic pessimist, whatever that means. Not even sure how to link this but I’m going to charge ahead anyhoo!
Normally when I see the daily prompt pop up in the reader I dismiss it but today’s really resonated with me. I am known to sign emails and sometimes even comments with Hope and Faith. More often than not I am hanging on to Hope and Faith by my fingernails or with a white-knuckled death grip. Often believing simply that if I live long enough or if just enough time passes by that things, and by that I mean, my depression and anxiety, my ADD, my relationship with my wife or my sexless marriage or even my porn addiction will take a turn for the better. Sometimes all I have and I mean, ALL I have, is Hope and Faith and not much of that.
Now when I started this blog I did not want it to be a Quote/Unquote Christian Blog. Some of the ones I had seen were too Pie in the Sky, Peachy Keen for me. More often than not life is not a bed of roses and pain-free, even if there are those who profess the contrary. My life has been filled with pain and suffering, debilitating depression and constant thoughts of suicide. I wanted my writing to be real, honest and when I think necessary, terribly blunt but more than that I wanted it to be real. I have issues, flaws, I have made some terrible mistakes in my life and to be frank, I don’t want to end that way. I have decided that I want to finish strong. I want to get back on my feet and get in the race.
So that means taking on real life; a failing relationship, a sexless marriage, like I mean no Whoopee! for twenty years, yea I know, time passes quickly when you are not having fun, an addiction to porn and compulsive masturbation, Major Depressive Disorder and General Anxiety Disorder, shall I go on? No? Ok, let’s just say I am a mess. Only recently I have become Ok with that and by that I mean I can accept it. Rome wasn’t built in a day, my addictions aren’t simply going to disappear overnight without a lot of struggle and work on my part, I certainly won’t have the perfect marriage by next week and my wife isn’t going to suddenly strip off while dragging me into the bedroom while yelling “I need you Baby, Now!” But one can certainly dream! Oh Yea! One can dream, or would that be a fantasy?!
In any event I am going to cling to my Hope and Faith, finger-tip, white-knuckled death grip and all. As for being a Christian Blog. I am a Believer, a sinner saved by Grace, and I will not deny my God and the fact that He is at work in my life, working a miracle in my heart if you will. You can take that any way you want but I do want to leave you with this.
So now how do I link this, is that to the daily prompt in the reader? I have no clue, I’m not sure but I will give that a shot, if I am wrong and you do want to comment please do so through my email at firstname.lastname@example.org Daily prompt link