Well, it happened a whole lot faster than I ever thought. In two and a half hours I will be sitting in a therapists office for the first time in probably seventeen years. This guy comes highly recommended and still I am as nervous as I have ever been. I called yesterday to set up the appointment and the soonest I could get in is the first week of November so I asked to go on the cancellation list. Don’t you know his office called this morning with a late afternoon opening and I have been stewing in nervous juice ever since.
Not this quick! I haven’t even had a chance to wrap my head around this move. I have read some horror stories recently about therapists so despite the recommendations I am filled with trepidation. I even thought of calling back and cancelling the cancellation appointment. I cringe at the thought of sitting face to face with another person, a live person, and spilling all this muck in my head. Sometime I wonder if it’s even real, what happened to me. My stomach is in a knot and I feel numb. I don’t know if I am more afraid of what I will say or what I will learn, probably both. I know that this visit will be the toughest so I guess I will just white-knuckle it, I have been doing that my whole life.