This has been an extremely stressful week for me. Beginning with my struggle to install the accountability/internet filter application on all my devices, to work, ugh, and a visit from Matthew. Thirteen inches of rain across our city (almost three hundred square miles, yup, the largest in the state) and none of the weather forecasters got it right. The water level came up another six or so inches during the night. While it did get into the garage and the enclosed back porch it was about five or so inches shy of getting in the house. Thank you Lord! We are so grateful, around us many, many of our neighbors were not so fortunate. As I drove through the neighborhood Monday afternoon I observed house after house with furniture and carpeting piled at the curb. As it is the salvageable contents of our garage are sitting in the driveway while box fans dry the floor and block out. At least now I was able to move the dryer out and install the new heating element that died several weeks back. Can’t tell you how many seldom used muscles are now aching.
On another note I awoke early this morning and started commenting, chatting really with another blogger who posted an Acrostic on Respect. Please see Dana’s latest post at “Love Letters Lost at Sea.”(I still have figured out how to post a URL) It really touched something in me. To me anyway, respect and physical intimacy equal love. Shannon Ethridge once said in her blog that the simplist way a wife could show respect to her husband is to say Thank You. Oh man, she doesn’t know how right she is, at least for this guy. My two love languages are touch and words of affirmation, thank you fits right in. If my wife really wanted to say I love you all it would take is a squeeze of the arm and Thank you. And if she really, really wanted to say I love you and thank you altogether, well, she won’t go there (can’t blame her) but I sure would like to!
So anyway, something triggered me and I had to end our nice chat and pull the covers up tight. In thinking about all this my eyes were suddenly filled with tears and my heart with regret. Regret for not loving M the way she needed to be, regret for using porn to unsuccessfully self-medicate myself, and regret for being so disrespectful not only to my wife but to my Lord and Savior who has been there for me all the while. And then He blesses me, undeservedly, while all my neighbors take a bigger hit from Matthew than I. I still struggle to believe how much God loves me.
I Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)
18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
I know this isn’t anything like the parting of the Red Sea but it certainly means a lot to me. God is Good!
Love in Christ, Barney