My Lonely Place

Vittore Buzzi Photo

Vittore Buzzi Photo

My Lonely Place

I burrow into the bedclothes

pulling the covers tight

all the thoughts in my head

blue and gray and lonely

I want them to stop

I want to get away

I try and I try

struggling everyday

to break free of the gloom

that follows in tow

so tiring

this life

all these swirling thoughts

the fading hope

the inner strife

the negative self-talk

i know in my head

that I bought a lie

so why, tell me?

do I keep making payments?

difficult to shake

this image of myself 

i’ve created over decades of time


I’m just to tired to fight




come, peaceful sleep

let your slumber take me

from this lonely place

at least

till I wake…..

Writers note:   Some days are just really tough and lonely and in that moment they color the past,the present and the future. It is tiring hiding behind an emoji and a smile. I’m finding that I don’t necessarily have to write but I Need to write.  It’s how I process and heal, so thank you for reading all this depressing shit but getting it out makes my heart lighter!



7 thoughts on “My Lonely Place

  1. It is indeed cathartic, Barn. Your words are beautiful, if painful. They are words not unfamiliar to those of us who have scarred hearts.


  2. Thank you Rita, It is so much better to feel, even if it is pain, when I buried it it just came back stronger, I’m tired of giving it all the power! I have given it too much! I want my life back, the good the bad and the ugly! I want to live and I pray, with “M” willingly, lovingly at my side! 😍 Barn


  3. Painful but touching imagery. Your commentary reminded me of a quote by author Elizabeth Reyes: “I write because I must. It’s not a choice or a pastime, it’s an unyeilding calling and my passion.” Keep the faith, one step at a time, one minute, one hour, day, whatever it takes. Hang in there.

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